My dear sir or madam,
A little about myself, if you are curious:
First and foremost I am a dancer. It is my oxygen. My incapacity with words due to a life-long struggle with shyness falls away whenever my body speaks for itself.
I grew up traveling and I find I have a complex and now am unable to stay in one place for long. Not from boredom but from a dire need to explore.
I chase away feelings of homesickness and dark thoughts with sunshine, we have a love-hate and complex relationship; and have done so for as long as I can remember.
My travels brought me to the Land Down Under four years ago. That winter I was diagnosed with melanoma skin cancer. I was operated on and now have only half an ear on one side (though I have grown fond of it). A year later it appeared again, a small, stubborn blue bump on my neck and I was operated on once more. I underwent Radiotherapy for eight weeks and left with an interesting scar, sort of like lightning.
Then last November a scan showed that the cancer had come again, but this time in my left hip and seven little spots in my lungs; this put me in stage IV of melanoma. The doctors said that there is no “treatment” per say left for me. All-in-all I have a ten percent chance of surviving the next five years.
I am dying.
Though do not mistake me with a walking dead man. I’m too stubborn to die. I have promised my sister, my fiancé, and my family that melanoma will not kill me. What an anticlimactic death. Not worth it. So this is my blog of perspective, whether healthy or not.
I hate my body for betraying me so I am working it hard until I forgive it and like it once more. But I do love life, I love too many things.
I cannot sleep anymore (subconscious’ way of telling me time is too short to sleep perhaps) thus I wake up too early each morning and the only word I’ve found to describe these mornings are “diaphanous.” (I’ll love you forever if you know and understand this feeling)
I love you for allowing me to share my story with you. I promise I will make it a happy ending, alright darling?
I love hearing from you all, please feel free to send any messages my way xx